Trials and Tribulations of Takeru Takaishi
by Sham Lux
Summary: Yamatos been missing for 3 years and things just aren't the same. TaichiXTakeru


Disclaimer: Digimon aren't mine, it and all its characters belong to Toei and Saban

Disclaimer: Digimon aren't mine, it and all its characters belong to Toei and Saban.

Author: Shamrock Angel

Pairings: Taito, Daikeru, but mainly Taikeru

Rating: PG, It's really more of a G, but better safe then sorry.

Summary: Yamato has been missing for three years and things just aren't the same.

The Trials and Tribulations of Takeru Takeshi

Yamato Ishida was dead, gone. This was a fact I had excepted. One day he hadn't shown up for school. One turned into two, then three, four, five, gone. His body? Never found. Some still believe he's alive………some. Its been three years since his disappearance. I've changed, we all have.

Today is to be my first day of high school. Excited? No. My hair is still the same length as it was back in the old days, except for several small braided pieces scattered here and there. Something Taichi decided to do a couple days earlier. Mind you, I had to clean them up a bit. Overall I liked the look. Especially with my white bucket hat placed on my head. The only major differences I see when I look in the mirror is the school uniform, I don't like it, but I guess I'll have to learn to; and the tired look in my eyes. The once strongly optimistic joyful child of hope had fallen. Replaced by a boy with a much more realistic view on life.

I exited the bathroom, and enter my room. I glare at some of the pictures on my wall and dresser. Some of us back at the 'beginning", some family ones, some of me and Taichi, and one of me and Daisuke…..a constant reminder of the relationship that taught me the meaning of forever, a meaningless word. Do I want to cry? Yes. I pick up my backpack and sling it over my shoulder. Creeping across the empty house like to hard of a step will cause the entire structure to collapse. Breakfast? No, I'm not hungry. I hear the hallow knock of the door. I open the door to see Taichi. Here to walk with me to school. I guess now's a good time to tell you about us. Taichi and Yamato had been in a relationship until his disappearance. Soon after that Daisuke and my relationship crumpled, and Taichi and me had gravitated toward each other. Did I love Taichi? Yes. Did he love me? I haven't the slightest clue. I doubt it. I have a feeling he sees me as Yamato. 

Without so much as a hello, we clamp our hands together and start off to school. We usually walked like this, in silence. Oh yea! Occasionally we act like little rabbits, flirting, and teasing, but most often silence. Not that I mind. Its just you can get accustomed to it. I take a risk, letting my head rest on his shoulder. I get his usual reaction. He fidgets uncomfortably and walks slightly faster. I remove my head for the comfort of his shoulder, and his behavior returns to normal. It's cold out, not enough for you to make a point of it. Just enough to unease you.

To put things as simply as possible, Ever since Yamato's disappearance things had turned blue. Not blue like sad, although we all were. Blue like……. today for example. Just uneasing. Everything seemed to slow, become tired. Depressing? Very. The best way to describe the feeling is like when you take a nap in the middle of the day and wake up later that evening feeling disoriented and unsure that you even fell asleep. Not sure what day it is, and wanting to cry for no reason. I loathe that feeling. Yet thanks to irony, I feel it constantly. Am I alone in this blue world? No. I can feel that Taichi is experiencing the same.

A cold icy tear falls from my glass blue eye. It explores my cheek, then clings to it. Refusing to move, to allow change. I know Taichi has noticed the tear, I see him starring at me at me from the corner of his eyes. He won't wipe it away, nor ask what's wrong. I know he won't……… he doesn't. Do I want him to? No. Soon the tear excepts in inescapable fate, and falls. Slowly walking down my jaw line like a prisoner to the chopping block. Then it descends to the ground. I almost wish to hear its impact, but don't.

The ground, the only thing I stare at as I walk. Easiest way to tell if someone is hiding something, or hurting inside, observe wither or not they notice peoples shoes untied, or wades or gum, or even puddles. They're always looking down. Taichi and me both stare at the ground when we walk. 

God, I miss him. I miss him more than any beings possible comprehension of the word. I love him in every sense of the word. Brother, friend, father,…….lover. I never got the chance to tell him I loved him "like that". If I got the chance to? No, I wouldn't tell him. I was adopted, I found this out while looking for an old report card in Mom's files. She still doesn't know I know. Will she ever tell me? No.

I look up at Taichi. At the same time he looks down at me. I stare into his eyes. I look to see if my undying feelings are returned. What do I see? The same as always, searching. He looks at me searching for something. What's he searching for? My best guess Yamato. He looks for Yamato in me. Does he find him? I wish he did. Then I would have him. Selfish? No. Lonely? Yes. Is he mine? Yes, we've been a couple for two years. Truly mine? No, he will never be. He has, does, and always will belong to Yamato. Yes, I do love them both. Equally? No…. limitlessly. Do they love me back? I hope. 

So! What did ya think? This is my first sad fic. Not really sad, but ya know what I mean. This is definitely better then "Caught Red-handed", which by the way I still can't think up any ideas to end it! So did you like it? Tell me if you did! Please! I wanna know! I wrote this when I was bored one night. I'm not really the 'I'm bored so I'll just spontaneously write a fanfic' type of person, but hey! What the heck! Well Gots to go byee! ^_~


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